One of your close friends is getting married and they’ve been kind enough to invite you to the wedding. It’s going to be great. You’ll see old faces, be able to have fun with new people, see your friend get married. What could go wrong?
Well there are a few things that could go wrong.
Here’s a list of what not to do if you’re a wedding guest.
Wear white – This should really be common sense. The bride wears white. The guest doesn’t (unless you’re Pippa Middleton, in which case, go for it.)
So when you’re picking out your dress, go for something that’ll match the theme. Not something that’ll outdo the bride.
Turn up late – Okay, so your taxi driver got lost. Turns out he’s new to the area. Trust you to jump in his taxi.
Anyway, the ceremony has already started. Do you burst through the door dishevelled and late? Of course you don’t. If you’re exceptionally late, what until the ceremony is over and then apologise profusely.
Don’t make a toast unless you’re asked – You made it to the ceremony on time and now you’re at the reception enjoying a few glasses of wine… a few too many.
Everyone’s sat enjoying their lovely meal and you’re struck by a real nostalgia. Your friend has just got married; remember all the good times you both had together?
You leap to your feet declare a toast and then proceed to drunkenly mumble your way through a heartfelt speech about that time you and the bride found a male strip club on your holiday together 15 years ago.
Keep it to yourself.
Don’t complain – The wine’s starting to wear off and you’ve grown hungry. The food was supposed to be out and on the tables an hour ago. Probably a catering mishap. I should go and complain to the bride. She’ll rush them along so I can eat if I complain.
One complaint really can ruin a bride’s big day. Don’t be awful. Just sit it out like everyone else.
Getting it on with the best man –The wine wore off, the food arrived and then you drank more wine. You’ve had your eye on one of the guests all night. Time to make your move.
Incorrect. Leave your fornication until you get home, or even better, another time.
And if a photographer went a long, the whole ordeal would be captured on film, ready for your hangover self to see.